Things are looking up.

So, it's been a week on the meds and I can tell the difference. Granted it's not a big one and I still expect some pretty big roller coaster rides of emotions until it really gets into my system, but I will take any positive difference at this point.

I am happy. Truly happy and playful. I wasn't not happy before but I didn't feel this...carefree either. The fears and everyday worries that plagued me constantly have drastically declined. I do still have them, they do still pop in my head, but mentally smacking myself upside the skull to stop thinking like that is much easier. I have been realizing my worries earlier as well so they don't careen out of control, snowballing into huge issues. I can tell that my everyday outlook is changing as well. The negative thoughts are making way for much more positive and optimistic ones.

I still have issues and probably always will but I can look back on the last year and see just how bad I have let myself become. This has been going down long before I thought it was. It was so gradual of a change, so slight day to day differences, that I just didn't notice the cliff at the end. Thankfully I was able to grab a hold of the edge before falling and got help before to many fingers began to slip. It was close though.