Breakdown for one please.

So...things have not been going that well for me here in the wonderful world known as my life. I finally had the breakdown I have been avoiding now for weeks and yet again I realize just how harmful it is to hold all that shit in.

Short story is - I started smoking again about two weeks ago after hitting a wall and realizing that not only am I not feeling any better but I was now trying to pull away even from my books. I did this knowing full well that smoking is a major hangup for my husband but sadly the smoking helped pull me back on track. Sometimes I really do miss it. On Tuesday I found a major mistake I made at work. A $3k mistake. I have a panic attack on my way home, the first in years, and while I was able to control my breathing the entire time and I didn't pass out it was bad. Really bad. I have never missed my medication until that moment when I had nothing to take. This all scares me so I come clean to my husband who, in what has become something of an inside message for us, thumps me on the head for being stupid, and then hugs me and puts me back together. I really am lucky to have him. He knows just what to say and how, even if he doesn't realize he does.

After that night I have felt much better. Wednesday was rough with having to talk to my boss, but it all turned out ok and I have felt much better since. I really hope that Tuesday night was the bottom of this hole and I can move forward and continue putting myself back together.

All I can really hope for is that when I am ready to check back in, I haven't lost any friends.

I am not a patient person.

Why is it that you can break apart in a matter of moments but the healing and putting yourself back together takes days/weeks/months? Of course if I am honest with myself I didnt break apart in moments, it was a slow fall, but I dont feel like being honest with myself at this time. If I do that I might actually realize just how...broken I really am and I would like to think I am getting better.

Really I am getting better. The physical anxiety issues have lessened a considerable amount. Now its just getting my brain back on track. Or at least on a different track than the one its on now.

In happier news, we are now puppy parents! We picked up the cutest puppy last Wednesday and have been adjusting since, lol. Bear (H wants the name to be Bare ::eyeroll::) is a roadside drop that my sis rescued. We arent quite sure what breed he is, the guesses right now are Lab & Pit. Either way he is smart, sweet, and very much a puppy, lol. Pics when I have some.

I am so weird.

Why take some sleeping pills (alright, fine, it was just a Tylenol PM, but still) and then fight to stay awake? Makes no sense. None what so ever.

On a good note my dishwasher was finally installed on Sunday. I all but jumped for joy. It even does a fantastic job. Who invented the dishwasher? I need to know so I can find them and kiss them. That and the person who came up with Jet Dry. #1 and #2 on my current list of best inventions ever. Lol.

And I made our first dinner in the new house. Yes, its been a month since closing, but I finally got the kitchen put together enough to cook on Saturday. It felt good to get something done. Oh, I didnt even burn dinner. It wasnt anything special, Italian Chicken for chicken salads, but I was proud. Especially because we didnt know how well the oven temp worked. Our old oven ran about 25 deg hot so we had to adjust everything. This one seemed to be right or at least close. We are going to try a pizza tomorrow to test it again.

A minor setback with a pinch of fear

** Just an FYI - I am not writing this for advice, I am writing this for me.**

I have found that in times of stress I tend to withdraw from the world around me. I pour myself into my books and hardly come out to breathe, preferring to live in the fictional world rather then dealing with the real one. Not a very good stress response but hey, its me, its what I do.

Well this past week I realized that I had fallen into that again. Fallen pretty deep. I haven't been eating or sleeping hardly at all (and the little bit I do get isn't restful). I have pulled away from my friends, both online and in real life. I spend all my time reading, even at work.

I am scared because not only did I miss what was happening, and I had been proud for catching and controlling it in the past, but am unable to stop it from continuing to get worse. Also I don't know whats triggered it this time. I can look back on my life and see the moments where I would get like this. I can see what made it happen, even if it was just a yelling match with my mother. Normally it would just be for a day or two then I would get over whatever happened. Only once did it span weeks like it has this time, my senior year of high school when my BFF passed away from cancer.

I broke down and took a sleep aid last night. I feel slightly better today but the rock on my chest is still there, making it hard to breathe. I still opened my online book the second I got to work. I know it will take time to get back on track. I know I just need to take things a day at a time. I know that it very well might get worse before it gets better. But I have never been a patient person. I am angry with myself for being this way and, yes, I know that I shouldn't be. And yes, I know I should be in therapy. And no, I don't plan on going right now.

With all that I also know that I can get through this. I can and will bounce back. It will take time and work but I will get there. As bad as I feel right now I am still miles ahead of where I could be. I believe that you can not know true happiness with out knowing true sadness, can not know true contentment with out also being restless. I believe that you can not live in the extremes of these things but need to live in a balance. I just need to find my balance point again.

Writing does wonders. I feel better now and understand more then I have in the past month if not longer, if I am really going to be honest with myself. It will only get better from here even if I do end up taking a few steps back every now and again.

Pictures!

They are crappy cell phone pictures, and I forgot the outside, but they are all I have right now, lol.

The living room. We will probably make this a sitting room of some sort. I am standing at the front door, looking left. To the right is the stairs up, strait ahead is the kitchen/dining room and the door out back. Just before the kitchen there is a door downstairs and a hall to the right leading to a half bath and the laundry room.

The kitchen standing at the back door. The wallpaper is gone now, all we need to do is spot check while we wipe things down and then paint! The color is a bright green.

From the hall looking right is the dining area. The door frame and hinge you see is the door to the basement.

This is the basement. Its going to be our Family Room. We will put the tv down there and probably a reading nook/library. The bar isnt built in so we can do whatever we want with it and not worry about messing up the floors. Its just sticky tile but still. It was well done for what it is.

The master bedroom. I am standing in the front corner, the open door being to the hall. His & Hers closets along the far wall. Just to the right of the hall door is a door into the only full bathroom. There is also a hall entrance.

Well thats the house! I didnt bother to take a picture of the two other bedrooms or the bathrooms since they are standard issue and empty anyway. The one bedroom we are making an office and the other will be a guest room. Once they are painted and have furniture in them I will snap a pic but really, there isnt much point until then, lol.

We are officially homeowners!

::jumps up and down like a 5 year old with a lollipop::

Ahem. Now that thats out of my system. Everything went well, we laughed through the entire process, and there really wasn't as much paperwork to sign as we figured.

Tomorrow I plan to try to strip the wallpaper from the kitchen and if it goes well, paint. I am not holding my breath for that to happen but you never know. We looked at paint chips tonight (I wouldn't look at any until we had the keys) and DH found a color he really likes, I just think it might be to much. Its a bright green. We'll see how it goes, lol. I'm in no rush to paint, just to get the wall paper down.

I will take pictures tomorrow and post them at some point, lol.

Nothing we do is ever easy.

We aren't planning to move until the 25th. We have just started packing and getting things ready. Basically the house is a mess right now of boxes and random piles of stuff shoved in any possible place possible to keep the rooms fairly open to keep packing up other crap.

The landlord calls last night. They put an ad out for the apartment and have received quite a few calls regarding it. They would like to start showing the place to hopefully get someone to rent right away.

While I understand this, the house is NOT going to show well. Its going to be cluttered and cramped. The already somewhat small rooms are going to look even smaller. I explained to him that the house was a mess from packing but he didnt seem to care. He said he would warn the people to expect to see someones moving mess. I am still going to be stressed about it. I don't care that we have to deal with it but I dont want some random stranger to see it!

Also, I own rats. Rats are not a pet for everyone. The landlord gave the ok to have "small caged animals, such as a Hamster or Gerbil" but most people do not lump rats in with that group and think they are dirty, disease ridden, pests. I dont agree (obviously) but because I understand others views and didnt want to risk an upset landlord who can still withhold our security deposit we did the polite thing and packed them up quick and drove them to my sister's for a few days until we can get in the new house. To bad my sister lives an hour away and it was already 9pm at this point. Any time we could have spent cleaning up was spent driving the rats. Ugh.

So now I get to rush home after work to whirlwind through the house trying to make the piles of stuff look just a little better and wiping down the kitchen counters and bathroom. Hopefully thats enough. I really don't know what the landlord is expecting.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Yes, I was one of the many who ventured out into the dark world at midnight to see it. I will keep this review spoiler free, if you want me to elaborate let me know and I will happily make a spoiler rich edition, lol.

First however I would like to express my deepest disappointments to the other midnight showing viewers. Part of the reason I was looking forward to going at this time was to see all the super fans dressed up and acting stupid. DH and I enjoy laughing at them. There was a sad, sad, showing of them last night however. I saw a few scarfs, a few t-shirts, and two girls with orange dyed mops on their heads. That was it. No wizard robes, no one with a broom, not even a witches hat in sight. It made the hour we sat in the theater waiting for the movie to start rather boring.

Second, I always try to keep movies and books separate. I try to think of them as two different ways to tell the same story, this way I can still enjoy the movie even after they butcher the book. I don't always succeed at that (read: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy where I cant even watch part of the movie without getting angry) but I do always try. That said this is tied as my favorite book of the 7 so it was a bit harder to think that way for this one.

And finally the actual review~ Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: Book (and movie) number 6. This is the first time where I think that they deviated from the book to the point of damaging the story line. Yes, in the previous movies larger, sometimes important, bits were left out of the films but I never felt that it damaged the integrity of the underlying story. In this film however there were quite a few crucial scenes in the book that were left out of the movie. By crucial I mean that they play a large and important part in book 7, Deathly Hollows. I don't know how they will fix these holes in the last two movies (book 7 will be split into 2 movies for those who don't know) but they need to. Without those parts left out I don't see how the story will end the same.

There were also some events that took place that were never really finished or closed, they just kind of moved on and left the viewer to assume it all worked out ok. I also felt like the new relationships were glossed over and rushed, however I did like how they played up the old relationships. I thought some of the characters were a bit fake this time round too. I don't know if it was the director or the actor; I am leaning towards director. As always the casting did a great job, the special effects were great. There was also a lot more humor in this film. Sometimes it was a bit corny or stupid but it did a good job reminding us that these are supposed to be 16/17 year old kids.

Over all I enjoyed the movie, I might go and see it a second time, I might not but I know I will purchase it when it comes out. If you enjoyed the other films, go see it.

The sounds of nature and an airplane or two.

It has been so beautiful out the past few days our office has just propped open the doors and let the wind blow through. I have been loving it. Nice breeze, with fresh air and sunshine all day long. I makes me want to curl up out on the grass with my book.

The only thing that breaks this perfect setting would be our office happens to be located in an industrial airpark. So we are surrounded by other industrial type businesses and an airport. Oh well. The planes take off pretty quick and not often and so far today just the landscapers seem to be working outside with their weedwackers. I can still hear the birds so all is good in my book.

I dont know what it is about a slight breeze, clear skies, and happy birds but it lifts my spirits, calms my soul, and makes me smile.

Two weeks

We got our official letter from our realtor, we close July 17th at 3pm. I am excited beyond words but my anxiety is starting to creep in as well. I woke up in the middle of the night last night having breathing issues and my chest has been tight all morning. I am trying very hard to not worry but it is getting harder and harder. So I am trying to stay away from the House Buying Forums & FAQs. I do not need to read horror stories right now! I will be so much happier when this is all done and we have the keys in our hands. Much happier.

A raging case of PMS is also not helping. My anxiety is always 100 times worse when a stressful situation matches up with PMS and I dont get my right mindset back until a day or so after AF's arrival.

30 day notice.

We gave ours last night. I put it in with the rent check. We now have to be out of our apartment by July 31.

I guess I should really start thinking about starting to pack, lol.

Another sinus infection.

First - Doctors really shouldn't be surprised at anything you say to them when in for a visit. Or, well, I should say they shouldn't act surprised. It's just a tad bit unnerving.

I have been having what I assumed to be allergy issues the past week or three. I would pop a Zyrtec and some Tylenol Cold and suffer through whatever they didn't take care of. Then last week I felt it in my ears and noticed that I was a lot more tired then I normally was, even after a rough night. Since this is how the last sinus infection in January started (that gave me pneumonia) I called the doc and ran in.

Sure enough its a sinus infection. Joy of joys. (eye-roll)

After she (the doc) came to this conclusion she asked how much pain I was in from it. When I said none (it really didn't hurt any, it was just uncomfortable and annoying, same as the one in Jan, that's how it got bad enough to give me pneumonia in the first place, I didn't know I was sick) she looked at me with the "you have got to be kidding" me face. After asking three more times, in three different ways, she finally decided I was telling the truth I guess and let it go. But it was still unnerving to be grilled about what kind of pain I was in and if I was *sure* it didn't hurt any.

So now I added another pill to my daily routine of allergy & cold meds (she told me not to stop it). I feel like I am old and need one of those pill calenders.

Morning - Antibiotics, allergy pill, and cold meds.
Afternoon - cold meds.
Evening - Antibiotics and cold meds.

Rinse lather repeat. Hopefully I will start feeling less stuffy and can back off the cold meds soon. I hate being sick.

"Good to go"

That was what our mortgage broker told us we were, good.to.go. She heard back from the bank who gave us the approval and just asked for a few supporting documents, copies of our good faith deposit check, letter of explanation on any credit pulls (all from the broker), that kind of thing. But we got the go ahead to start packing!

I think its really happening this time. I cant wait. Just a little longer and we will be homeowners!! I am really having trouble not window shopping now. But I suppose its not that bad. We do need new appliances, might as well know what I want before going in to buy, right?

Congratulations!

I want to wish Best Wishes & Congratulations to my friends, T&T, married Saturday 6/20 and M&K married Sunday 6/21. We felt honored to attend your events.

Also Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there!

Another update today!

The seller agreed to all our repair requests with out countering. WOOT!

Lets hope this trend of things going our way continues!

House update

Just heard from the mortgage broker. The appraisal came back at $3k higher then the purchase price so we are good on that end. We were a little worried, the other house for sale on that street was priced a good $5k lower then the listing for ours and we ended up agreeing to pay $2k over that listing (congrats if you managed to follow that thought). Thankfully they take into account that there were multiple offers so that bumped it up.

Hopefully we hear by Friday what the underwriter says. This is where I worry. They are being super picky now and being pre-approved/qualified is meaning less and less. Nothing I can do about it but I still worry. Its just what I do.

Now I just need to hear back about if the seller agreed to our fixes. Our final addendum was for $600 towards appliances, fix the double tapped breaker, and put in a radon system. The radon in the basement tested at 24.3. EPA standards are 4.0 and lower. Just a touch high. The house has been closed up since Jan though, so I am sure that plays a part, but a system still needed to be put in. Especially since we plan on making the basement our family room and main hang out.

Meet the boys!

I would like to introduce Charlie & Ratchet. They were born around mid Oct 2008, I adopted them at about 6 weeks old on Nov 29, 2008 which makes them about 7 months old right now. I dont have any new pictures of them but they havent changed much, just gotten rounder, lol. Ratchet is the black one, Charlie brown (agouti is the proper term but Im not that picky, lol).

Ratchet. I love their little hands. If they had thumbs Rats would totally rule the world!

"You hide, we'll seek! 1...2...3..."

"Get that flashy thing away from my food!"

Again with those cute hands! Rattie hands, my weak spot.

Peek-a-boo!

This is probably my favorite picture. They are in the front pocket of my sweatshirt and for some reason they love it in there.

And finally, Charlie would like to send his goodbye kisses. He is such a licky, kissy rat. I love it.

Well, there goes that.

Just spoke with our Mortgage Broker who asked me to wait since the Federal Aid is basically a loan app that the mortgage people would look down on. So no federal aid for me this school year.

If I do anything, depending on what Boss says, I will probably start out with one class this fall and reevaluate in the spring. I doubt I would try full time unless something drastically changes.

To much to fast?

I have been thinking about going back to school. Again.

I toy with the idea every few months but there always seems to be something else more important. However now the company I work for is growing and I feel like if I had some more....stable and constant learning behind me I would be able to help them out more. Be able to point them in the right direction as far as running the office goes. And after all, school is never a bad idea.

My big worry right now is am I getting in over my head? If I want federal aid I need to apply by June 30th so I need to make my decision soon. I need to not only decide if I am going but decide if I am going full time, part time, only one class (and forgo Federal aid). If everything works out with the house we would close around mid July. School would start in September. I would need to plan to get no help (I have no clue what I qualify for) federally. I might ask Boss if he would be willing to pay for some of it, seeing as I am doing it for his company, but with the way the economy is I dont know that he would be able to. So really I need to plan to front all the money.

Its not much in the grand scheme of things but we would have just bought a house, moved, and be putting our mark on it. Is it to much all at once I wonder?

Inspection Results

First, sorry if house talk is getting old, its just whats going on in my life right now, lol.

Now on to the post. I got the inspection results today. For the most part everything came back fine. Foundation is solid, roof doesnt leak, windows are good, all the big things are fine. BUT the dishwasher makes a funny noise when run, the refrigerator didnt work at all, and the microwave that was listed as coming with the property was marked as not present. The kitchen sink had little to no water pressure, there is a small leak at the main water shut off, and a few cracks/nails popping up on the roof, which was also marked as "normal wear & tear."

Its possible that the microwave, which was bolted onto the underneath of a cabinet but listed as "built in" didnt count for the inspection since it really wasnt built in. It seems a bit sketchy to me but what do I know? Lol.

Really all I am worried about is the kitchen stuff. Mainly the water pressure and the fridge. We must have those two. I am waiting for a call from the Realtor but for the most part I think we are just going to ask for the water pressure to be looked into and maybe some money for the appliances. We were going to replace them in a year or so anyway to something less dated looking so really best case is that the water gets fixed and we get cash for new appliances. With that in mind if the seller wants to fix them I guess there isnt much we can do other then to start saving now for new ones, just in case.

At least the foundation is ok. We are willing to deal with the minor things like the roofing nails and normal wear but its good to know that the big things are fine.

A proud day.

My younger sister is 26 but autistic. She goes to ARC during the week and they keep her occupied "working" at the senior center & stuffing envelopes for the hospital. She doenst really get a paycheck for it since its a service for her.

Yesterday she calles me. This is the first time she has ever called me. Since it came up as Mom & Dad and I was at the Dr I just let it go to voice mail. I almost got hit by a car when I listened to it. She sounded so excited and was talking very fast, another unusual thing for her. I really wish I had kept that voice mail but I wasnt really thinking and just deleted it.

Anyway, she had called to tell me that SHE GOT A JOB!!!

She is going to be a housekeeper at a hotel & conference center in her home town. A few months ago she participated in an experimental program that taught her the basics of hotel housekeeping and setting up/tearing down conferences and thats what helped open up this door.

I am so proud of her. She went on the interview, even though the hotel people basically knew that they were going to hire her, and was able to answer all their questions with only a little help. They said they were very impressed with her and were excited to have her there. I think I am going to send her some flowers. I think she would like that.

Hurry up and wait.

We went Friday and signed half our life away applying for our mortgage. The appraisal should be done sometime this week/early next week and we should hear from the underwriter shortly after that. No one seemed worried that it might not work out but me. Epically after what happened the last time. All the same I am trying to stay positive. Assuming everything works out ok closing would be by July 17th. Please to see my fancy new ticker to the right. 1.5 months.

A positive to having a back injury

A positive thing to having a hurt back and not being able to do a damn thing other then just lay there is that I have gotten a lot of reading done. The bad thing about that is that books are expensive! I have gone through more books in the last few months then I think I have ever read in a year. Hell, I have gone through 4 in just the last week. But to try and keep costs down I cant be going to the book store and dropping $50 on a handful of books every week so last night I made my way to the local library. It is a new library and boasts about having a large selection blah blah blah. I was disappointed.

I understand my favored genera of books, SciFi/Fantasy, isnt the most popular, but I do think it warrants more then three 4' sections worth of selection. Hell, they didnt even have Tolkien or Steven King (I double checked in the normal fiction, just in case).

I am disappointed in you Library. I remember now why I never really bothered with you and just purchased all my books.

Under Contract.

Friday we went to meet with our realtor to put in an offer on the house we saw last week however he had just gotten off the phone with the seller's agent who let us know that someone else had also put in earlier that day. Go figure. The house had been on the market with no offers since January and the day we go to make an offer someone else is interested. Just our luck. Well we decide we really want the house and since the other buyer didnt know we were interested when they put in their offer we went in with our high bid hoping the other offer went in low. Saturday we get the call saying the seller countered to our offer wanting just two thousand more. Deal. We are (or will be today) officially under contract. We still need to sign the changes that the seller made but thats just a formality.

SQUEEEEEE!

I am so excited about this house. Now we just need to apply for the loan, which we have been preapproved for, and then wait. If everything goes according to plan we are looking to close mid July. Again, I am so glad the other house fell through, even if it was hard to handle then. We really liked the other house so the fact that we like this one so much more says a lot about it. In my opinion anyway. :-)

I am so glad

that the last house fell through. We went and saw one last night that I love. I love love love the neighborhood and the home itself is great. A few things would need to be done to make it work for us (new carpet, paint, etc) but really its nothing in the grand scheme of things. We are putting in an offer tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this, I just hope and pray that it will all work out.

When selling a house...

1. Dont be lazy with repairs. The last of the two homes we saw this weekend was "fully renovated." We had high hopes with the quality of the home based on that phrase when we decided to look at the home in the first place. The location wasn't great and the house itself was built in 1901 but we figured those things could be overlooked if the layout was ok and it was, in fact, fully renovated. However "fully renovated" must not mean making sure the 2nd floor porch was actually connected to the house, the doors and windows were the right size and opened/closed, or that the ceiling and floors were even. I think all this guy did to "fully renovate" this home was slap a new coat of paint on the walls (that he textured so wouldn't need a primer or 2nd coat) and lay some new carpet down. Waste.of.my.time.

2. Dont keep 10 billion cats in random rooms. The first home we saw we knew the house probably needed a little updating but the location was great. We walked in and hit the wall of smelly cats. It was almost overpowering. It wasnt like the crazy cat lady's ammonia filled home, but just a combination of multiple cats with multiple litter boxes that needed to be cleaned. The husband lasted all of three minutes before his sneezing started. And that was on a daily allergy medication. The smell aside the house didnt wow us enough to over look the little repairs and updating that would have been needed.

Those were the two most promising listings for our area and budget. Time to expand or compromise on our already small "must haves" list. This whole house hunting thing is hard! But fun at the same time.

Product Reviews: Makeup

Loreal's Bare Naturale: 2/5 - Ok in a pinch.

It was very hard to find the shade that worked for me. I followed their little chart thing and ended up buying three different shades before finding the right one. It was hard to get the right amount of powder on the brush, either I had to much or to little. Either way half the powder either ended up on the sink or on me. The whole time I used it (about two months) I couldn't get dressed before I put make up on. Also I never got what the finishing powder was for. I just use it as a late day touch up to get rid of my nose shines. It works great for that. All in all not worth the money I put into it between the several shades of foundation and the pointless finishing powder.

Pur Minerals: 4/5 - Not perfect but does a great job.

I purchased the Starter Kit about two weeks ago. I had help in the store picking the shade and should have listened to my gut telling me it wasn't right but surprisingly, even with a shade to light, it works great to balance the redness. The pressed powder doesn't get everywhere, unless I go way overboard on the amount I put on the brush, and overall I don't feel like I am wasting any. The "chiseled brush" that comes with the kit I am undecided about, I think I like the full, softer brushes better, but that might change with the right color shade. The bronzer and blush are the same, I don't see a difference or really the point, but that is probably because they are all a shade lighter then what they need to be.

Well, Let the hunt begin!

Again. :-/

We heard from the bank yesterday. We didnt get approved. We followed everything they told us to do but they just "forgot" to mention that we wouldnt be able to reapply for another 120 days. FOUR MONTHS! How do you just forget that part when telling loan applicants what to do to get approved? I am ready to scream.

Our mortgage broker did run us through another program though and we got a pre-approval through them. We are going to go look into it and hopefully it will work out. Some of the houses we really liked but ruled out due to location (1st loan program had limitations on the location of the home) are still on the market. Depending on how the finances will work with the new program, one of those just might be the home for us.

Is it to early to start drinking? 11am? Didnt think so. :slams shot of vodka:

:crosses fingers, toes, and anything else I can:

We found out last week that we managed to make it through the hoops the bank wanted us to jump though to buy a home. We should back hear this week if that was good enough. I really want this to work out. I love the home we found and cant stand living in the house we are in now. It was great when we first moved in but we are ready to move on.

**FYI-hitting enter at anytime when typing up a blog post will actually post it**

I just need to embrace my dorkiness.

Between the WoW playing, anime watching, and now this I just cant deny it. I am a giant dork.

I ordered this book: http://www.amazon.com/Salt-World-History-Mark-Kurlansky/dp/0142001619/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1241124522&sr=1-1

It should be delivered today. I am sooo excited to start reading it. The little bit I did read online it looks like it will be very interesting. Now if only the work day would end so I could leave and go see if UPS lied to me about it being on my front porch.

Honesty is rough.

The Husband and I are burning out. We are both stressed and tired. I want to try and go away for a day or two to relax however I am also cheap and already short on funds. Our normal answer in this situation is to go camping but our fall back location is an amusement park.

I just went to check out the prices, make sure its as cheap as I remember and whatnot, I glance through the rides and rates for them. It made me realize that not only would I not be able to ride roller coasters but I cant ride just about every other fun ride out there. No scrambler, no tiltawhirl, not even the carousel would be a good idea. I could cry.

Its been since February. That's when my back went out. It was only earlier in April that I had my first real pain free day but that has been the only one. I don't want to risk it going out again from some stupid ride but why bother going just to see the husband ride things, that wont be fun for him either. The past two times we tried to go it rained and we ended up at the mall and driving around so we have seen all the other things to do out there.

Looks like we need a new location. :-/

Whats in your fridge?

You can learn a lot about a person by looking at what they have in their fridge.

The husband and I have been house hunting. Every home we looked at the appliances conveyed so we looked at them a little closer. You can tell a single guy lives there when there is a case of beer, mustard, and a frozen pizza. There was also the family that had a Barbie Birthday Cake and nothing else, even drink. I was actually disappointed when the homes were unoccupied and the fridge was empty.

I wonder what our refrigerator would tell people....

Hi, I'm new here.

Well, not really. I had another blog that I just didn't want to continue. I might regret my snap decision of deleting it without backing it up later but I feel like its time to move on. Do not dwell on the past which, for me, was what the other blog was doing. It's not like I had any followers anyway, or at least I don't think I did. Maybe I should have checked that out, oops.

Either way this is hopefully going to be half journal and half random bits of my life. If you happen to wander in hope I don't scare you to bad!